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The Building Blocks of a Romantic Relationship in a Swiping Apocalypse: Emotions

Each one of us starts out as a stranger. It doesn’t take too long for a small spark to ignite between two strangers, who in no time become the most valued beings for one another. Emotions are the depicting factors of the connection, strong or hollow, in a relationship. Two individual entities get unified and the so-called ‘strings’ that get attached is what constitutes emotions and support. Differences in the nature of these two entities may lead them to seek familiarity, in most scenarios, which has high potential chances of complicating the relationship (de Botton, 2016). This is when emotional availability and support are overpowering counter actions of seeking familiarity, in order to let the relationship be intact. In the current fast-paced world of swiping and acquiring, young adults are forgetting the strong and intense aspect of emotions, with regard to emotional availability, in a relationship. The drifting apart between two people can be inhibited by mutual emotional availability and support, which would enhance the connection between partners because it influences the way individuals form a certain perspective and behave accordingly. This, in turn, helps us gain an insight into the way a relationship gets molded on the basis of emotions and support from the significant other. Moreover, it is important for both partners to be intentionally emotional by investigating and staying close to each other’s emotions.

The element of love comes with a serious and scary factor of commitment. In this era of Tinder and Bumble, or as Sales calls it “the dating apocalypse”, being emotionally available to your partner is challenging and may even be overwhelming for a lot of us (2015). This would be challenging because majority of the right swipe matches result in hookups or surface-level relationships. Surface-level relationships are temporarily satisfying. However, such relationships can have an adverse effect due to the loss of involvement of emotions for an extended period of time. This also accounts for the wastage of time and indulgence in something that is not worthwhile or beneficiary in the long run. In this materialistic world, there has been no room left for emotions and this needs to be realized and altered, by a major chunk of the millennials.

A relationship consists of more than just a partner or physical touch. There is a need for an emotional connection that serves as a foundation force between the souls of the two individuals. Emotional transparency influences the intensity of trust and security in a relationship. A true commitment consists of emotions, trust, and honesty. Commitment in a relationship is all about being emotionally attached, and this is significant because emotions are the building blocks of a relationship.

There are a lot of compromises to make in a romantic relationship in order to have a happy one (de Botton, 2016). This is possible only when there is simple conveyance of emotions along with emotional availability between two partners because the sense of understanding each other’s needs and wants is an essential part of a relationship. Compromise is an essential kind of support because to make a relationship ‘work’ it is important to grow with the significant other; existential or emotional growth. ‘you do a lot for me’, ‘you’re very supportive and I love that about you’, ‘you are as supportive as I’d want any partner to be’, these are some common phrases we hear from a partner. What do these convey? Why are these phrases important and how do they strengthen the bond between two people? It’s all about emotions. Being emotional while understanding the emotions of your other half is as difficult as it may sound, but this is one of the factors of having a healthy relationship.

In this context of love, supportive refers to what we generally term, ‘being there’. Being there in terms of support and inspiration, someone who gives us the little ‘push’ that is often required to rise and make things fall in place (Edwards, 2019). The emotional and moral support offered by a partner during tensed situations can highly influence the way the other person copes with the situation. Consequently, this intensifies the good times and helps in making a stronger bond between the two individuals. For most of us, our partner is our go-to person (someone who is interested and who cares) and this is because of the emotions involved in a relationship, “mutually” and “equally” (Tatkin, 2015). Emotional availability stems into other withholding elements of a relationship- trust, security, honesty, and most importantly the big word, LOVE.

Sharing of emotions and being communicative with your partner helps in the gaining of trust and avoids conflicts and issues.  On the other hand, being too supportive or emotional can be exhausting and frustrating, which can lead to fights. There is a fine line of difference between being aptly supportive and being interfering. Emotional availability and support are not the invaded accessibility of the other person’s emotions rather, it is an open book of the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, and the failures and the triumphs. When there is communication that assures the when, how, where, and why about the partner, there is a feeling of emotional safety and security that develops, which avoids further compelling interventions like insecurities and overprotectiveness. Even though getting emotionally attached to someone might sound bizarre to the ‘swipers’, it is important to be connected in order for the relationship to be intact and last longer.

Ultimately, humans are social beings; showering emotions and forming connections is an inevitable driving force leading to progressive evolution. Portrayal of emotions is sometimes calming and can help in stress relieving, too. Emotions are a way of conveying meaningful messages and helps in the building of a strong bond. Emotions have the ability to overpower the aspect of physical attraction, in the long run. Love is a strong feeling and the emotions attached with it are even stronger. As difficult as it may sound, emotional availability and support are essential for a rather happy relationship.

References

de Botton, A. (2016, May 28). Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html

Edwards, N. (2019). What It Really Means to Have a Supportive Partner. [Blog post]. Retrieved from https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-it-really-means-have-supportive-partner/

Sales, N.J. (2015, August 6). Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”. Vanity Fair. Retrieved from https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

Tatkin, S. (2015, February 27). What It Actually Means To Be An Emotionally Available Partner. [Blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17637/what-it-actually-means-to-be-an-emotionally-available-partner.html

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